Big rain - welcome to Ireland, President Obama

In fact, I got woken up by the heavy rainwater gushing against my window this morning. I super-kid-like-excitedly legged over to the window, only to hear more obscene and degrading insults and shouting downstairs, and I quietly got back into bed, like the "good girl" I was brought up to be. Shortly followed by thundering footsteps and blasting radios to indicate he is not happy, he wants us up now. Now. And I ignored it.

Get up for what ? to hear more insults ? To live through my day in panic and constant fear ? To be trapped in my own home, not allowed to do this, not allowed to do that, only allowed to do...... do..............pathetic things like I am doing now. It is only when he slams his door shut do I feel at peace, that I feel the pressure lifting gently, that I feel a breath of fresh, relieved air. That I can smile and speak to her like you normally can in any given household.

Maybe I shouldn't complain. There are people much worse off than me. People who do not dare utter a sound for all they have suffered.....People who do not have the internet to tell you guys anything, to get things off their chest. People who cannot type, who are uneducated in any shape or form, people who do not realise they are being wronged. People who still live in an era.....not so much different to this:

YouTube: 半生缘/林心如 Ruby Lin

But I do. And though it may seem strange, guys, knowing is what hurt me most.

I used to not know. I used to go to school happy, be fairly happy at home, just the occasional beating, orcoming home to another lecture, everyday coming home and asking her if he has been giving out ? It was......good not to know. Then I grew up, started making closer friends, realised......this does not happen in other kids' homes.......I reflected, I got wise, I got hated even more in the household......and here I am now.

Sometimes I wonder.....what it's like to live without loathing, without fearing, without this constant stone of worry over my shoulders. Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to be able to do the little things you want to do without hiding, without desperately trying to make your own alternative ways to get around to them. Sometimes I wonder how I would be if I grew up in one of those families. Would my personality / viewpoints be any different ? Would my smile.....be more natural ?

I love the following song, especially sung by this lady.....and I hope to sing it someday for my wonderful mother....

YouTube: 鳳飛飛 - 掌聲響起

And last but not least.....NigaHiga's announcement on (spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)his(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)new(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)channel(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)(spoiler)....

YouTube: The Announcement

Happy Watching, peeps.

. . .
*godspeed*
. . .
. . .

moqi

ɯod!