woww ._.

i actually missed a day of blogging.....which is kinda random considering that i do this on a daily basis. i guess nights can really wreck ur mind a bit ehh ._.

So i've decided not to work in this hospital anymore, I want a change of environment, so I'm gonna look for a place in my local nursing home and do my 6 months.....The rest of the story ? I haven't a clue.

I will ask my ex ex preceptor who will be on nightshift tonight for that reference she had for me aaaages ago. hopefully she still has it. I'm gonna email it along with my CV and pray to high solar systems that they will take me ._.

what other thing is new....I couldn't blog ealier on, everything went very microsoft word and I couldn't click anything. I'm aware that I have an assignment todo....it will be commenced on Thursday when I come back from my bloody nightshift. And yes it will be done on time. As always.

I have never felt more alone....

Actually that is a lie.

I have always felt alone.

Being lonely....is part of my life....

Ditto feeling isolated from everyone else.

When things are going good and everyones happy......I'm surrounded by people.

But when life is shit and I get upset....I'm on my own. Nobody cares....nobody talks back.....nobody stands up for me. Not even my own mum.

So these 6 nights were hell.....every single day is a drag. I start my nights wanting to die, wanting to just fly fly fly away......and end them knowing I've got more to go. I'm fake, I have to do the job that I despise.....and I dont get along with the peeps there. But I try I try so so so hard. Does nobody even fuckin realise ?

I start off my nights being told off about how stupid retarded mentally challenged intellectually disabled handicapped and useless I really am. Yes you make me breakfast.....but it's never the breakfast I want to have. You plan what I'm gonna have.\ Who cares if I'm not hungry, who cares if I dont like it ? Its "for my own good" and if it's "good" for me then I should accept it without questioning, and be grateful. What I want is never important anyway.

I come home in the morning and the routine is similar. Yes I am tired as hell but I better hurry up and just get on with it so I can have my dinner and not waste other people's time. Then I have to go to bed at the time they want me to so yeah. Freedom ftw.

So he lets us watch a dvd (woww) until midnight so that I can adjust my bodyclock (which is good, but I didnt want to watch it). He doesnt know I use the laptop and I left the broadband thing on because, well....that's what you do. But to him Im wasting electricity so he switched it off and gave out tome. him and bro drinks beer and I say I want some. So I go to get a bottle and of course bro says loudly dad will know and of course he asks bro whats with the shouting and of course bro tells him and of course he starts screaming about what a horrible slut I am and I should commit suicide and all. Oh, and he scrunched up the fathers day card and put it on my desk. Thats how much its worth.

And thats how much I worth.

Last Night Shift....for now

yeshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ._.

A....

is for awkward ._. Check out the awkward animal range by Wong Fu...

http://areyouaniceguy.com/collections/awkward-animal

and

http://areyouaniceguy.com/collections/plush

I speak Canto when I'm nervous :s I forget things easily :s I always say ohh in realisation :s my patient fell today and even though it's not really my fault and theres nothing I could've done that I didn't do....it just. doesnt. look. good.

ugh.

Having ahellotta girly problems....

...namely that time of the month problemos, complete with getting frustrated at a patient who pressed the bell 22 times by 1am just to pull up her sheet which she is perfectly capable of doing. Sighhhh.

Then bitching with that patient's equally frustrated neighbour who could bear her demands no more and did the bell press counting haha.

Broke a nail and had to the the ones off that hand, got bored and refused to do the other hand ._.

Woke up with my hair a little crazy last night, tried flattening with water,  but no. Anyway everybody else likes it so blehhh.

Facebook Ascii Collection - Father's Day

Thought I should write a wee disclaimer to cover my ass, legs, spine and whatnot eh ._.

DISCLAIMER: None of the below are created by me...I have been very bold and shamelessly stole them from this site right here--> http://facebook-emoticons-symbols.blogspot.com/
or if you cant find it on the first page, click around and you'll find it somewhere. I've stolen everything from them the poor unsuspecting souls.

This is so that I can easily copy and paste the like wherever and whenever I want without scrolling and clicking around wildly. Purpose of evolution can have side-effects such as laziness....

But you didn't need me to tell you that.....did you ? o.O

Enjoy this Father's Day Collection ^^v

Happy father's day:
нαρρу ƒαтнєя'ѕ ∂αу
ɧąþþγ ∱ąŧɧεŗ'ş đąγ
հձթթყ բձէհεг'ร ժձყ
ʎɐp s,ɹǝ4ʇɐɟ ʎddɐӇ
HΔƤƤΨ FΔƬHΣΓ'Ѕ DΔΨ
んﾑｱｱﾘ ｷﾑｲん乇尺'丂 Ðﾑﾘ
ɦǟքքʏ ʄǟȶɦɛʀ'ֆ ɖǟʏ
ӇƛƤƤƳ ƑƛƬӇЄƦ'Ƨ ƊƛƳ
ἬᾋƤƤὛ ҒᾋҬἬἝȒ'Ṩ ƉᾋὛ
ⓗⓐⓟⓟⓨ ⓕⓐⓣⓗⓔⓡ'ⓢ ⓓⓐⓨ
[̲̅h̲̅][̲̅a̲̅][̲̅p̲̅][̲̅p̲̅][̲̅y̲̅] [̲̅f̲̅][̲̅a̲̅][̲̅t̲̅][̲̅h̲̅][̲̅e̲̅][̲̅r̲̅]'[̲̅s̲̅] [̲̅d̲̅][̲̅a̲̅][̲̅y̲̅]

I love you father:
ι ℓσνє уσυ ƒαтнєя
ι ♥ уσυ ƒαтнєя
ï ℓσ√ε γσų ∱ąŧɧεŗ
Ɩ ԼƠƔЄ ƳƠƲ ƑƛƬӇЄƦ
ɹǝ4ʇɐɟ noʎ ǝʌoן ı
ï ﾚ⊕∀ε ψ⊕u ƒα†hεr
ⓘ ⓛⓞⓥⓔ ⓨⓞⓤ ⓕⓐⓣⓗⓔⓡ
[̲̅i̲̅] [̲̅l̲̅][̲̅o̲̅][̲̅v̲̅][̲̅e̲̅] [̲̅y̲̅][̲̅o̲̅][̲̅u̲̅] [̲̅f̲̅][̲̅a̲̅][̲̅t̲̅][̲̅h̲̅][̲̅e̲̅][̲̅r̲̅]

I love you dad:
ι ℓσνє уσυ ∂α∂
ï ℓσ√ε γσų đąđ
ï ♥ γσų đąđ
I LΘƲΣ ΨΘƱ DΔD
i lΦvę ყΦЦ DǞD
Ἷ ĿὋVἝ ὛὋȖ ƉᾋƉ
Ī Ŀ♡ѴƐ Y♡Ʊ DΛD
[̲̅i̲̅] [̲̅l̲̅][̲̅o̲̅][̲̅v̲̅][̲̅e̲̅] [̲̅y̲̅][̲̅o̲̅][̲̅u̲̅] [̲̅d̲̅][̲̅a̲̅][̲̅d̲̅]

• Father's day facebook symbols banners:

. . . . . _♥________________
. .____| . . . .FATHER'S. . . .. |____
. .\ . . .|. . . . .  DAY . . . . . . | . . ./
. .> . . |'•______Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ______•|. . .<
. ./______) . . . . . . °ღ . . (______\

............(0 0)
.---oOO-- (_)-----.
╔═════════════════╗
║ ♦ Happy father's day! ♣║
╚═════════════════╝
'----------------------oOO
........|__|__|
.......... || ||
....... ooO Ooo


♫ .♥.•* ★¨`*•♫.•´*.¸.•´♥ ♫
☀ Happy ☀ Fathers ☀ Day ☀
♫ .♥.•* ☀¨`*•♫.•´*.¸☀.•´♥
┊ ┊┊ ┊☀┊ ┊ ┊┊ ☀ه
ه┊ ☀ ┊ ┊ ི♥ྀ
☀ ┊┊ ☀ه
ه┊ ☀

╔═════════════ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ════════════╗`·.·★·.·´¯`·.·★ нαρρу ƒαтнєя'ѕ ∂αу  ★·.·´¯`·.·★·.·´
╚═════════════ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ════════════╝

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•
::: (\_(\ ...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*
*: (=' :') ::::::::::: I ♥ you Dad ::::::::::::::::::
•.. (,('')('')¤...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*
¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸

• Facebook symbols big shapes. Father's day ascii art:


╔╗╔╗─────────────╔═╦═╦═╗
║║║╠═╦╦╦═╗╔╦╦═╦╦╗║║║╬║║║▄██▄██▄
║║║║╬║║║╩╣║║║╬║║║║║║║║║║▀█████▀
╚╝╚╩═╩═╩═╝╠╗╠═╩═╝╚═╩╩╩═╝──▀█▀
──────────╚═╝

╔═══╗───╔╗╔╗──────────╔═══╗
║╔══╝──╔╝╚╣║──────────╚╗╔╗║
║╚══╦══╬╗╔╣╚═╦══╦═╦══╗─║║║╠══╦╗─╔╗
║╔══╣╔╗║║║║╔╗║║═╣╔╣══╣─║║║║╔╗║║─║║
║║──║╔╗║║╚╣║║║║═╣║╠══║╔╝╚╝║╔╗║╚═╝║
╚╝──╚╝╚╝╚═╩╝╚╩══╩╝╚══╝╚═══╩╝╚╩═╗╔╝
─────────────────────────────╔═╝║
─────────────────────────────╚══╝

┏━━━┓╋╋╋┏┓┏┓╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┏━━━┓
┃┏━━┛╋╋┏┛┗┫┃╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┗┓┏┓┃
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╚╝╚╩═╩═╩═╝╠╗╠═╩═╝╚═╩╩╩═╝──▀█▀
──────────╚═╝

You would hate

• going into a week of nights, knowing that you will be on nights for a day the week after, and that you have a literature review due the week after that
• not getting along with the nurse working with you, mildly put, stress does kill
• your patient suddenly going gaga on you
• going home late
• arrive home and be told how retarded and crap you are for 20 minutes....

oh well ._.